Course 3:

How to talk to yourself

In this third-level workshop, figure out what you want in life – and get over getting in your own way.

We’ll meet six times. At the end of the six weeks you’ll know how to:

  • Develop your vision of how you want to live, and learn how to move toward it.

  • Understand how your way of thinking affects the things you feel you must do. Start choosing how to think.

  • Stop feeling put upon and stop avoiding things. Understand the function of fear.

  • Deal with conflict better and negotiate wisely.

  • Feel more in control of your emotions, even when things are uncertain.

  • Understand why you are tempted to blame other people - or yourself - when things go wrong.

  • Deal with differences and help everyone get what they want.

  • How do you want to live your life? Is being ‘right’ all it’s cracked up to be? We investigate what matters most to you, and look at how to choose beliefs that support you. We learn the ABC model, and understand how you keep or give away the power you need to build the life you dream of.

  • We usually want to blame someone or something when things don’t go our way, but that just leads to fear and frustration. Instead learn ways to handle whatever happens in your life and be less afraid. We look at our beliefs about responsibility, and see how we associate it with blame. We move on to see how to adopt a healthy ’accountable’ attitude and stop avoiding things.

  • Our own habits and beliefs seem to keep getting in the way. Fear is a big one: we scan every event for whether it’s good or bad; we get paralysed over decisions by endlessly ‘what-iffing’; we try to control more than we should. In the end we don’t make progress. We consider how we can use fear to help us instead of derailing us, and see how it crops up in perfectionism, procrastination, and guilt.

  • Fear of not being good enough leads us to leave our lives up to others. We look to others for approval, and so we devote energy to ‘looking good’. But that’s exhausting and feels fake. We look at how you can use guilt, resentment, and self-pity to alert you to what you need to do. Can we give ourselves that approval and respect what we do? Can we deal with disapproval?

  • Many of us dread dealing with conflict. But conflict doesn’t need to be the same thing as confrontation. It can make you stronger. We examine the most common ways of dealing with conflict and learn how to handle it better. You’ll learn how to negotiate wisely without giving in using the 6 steps of Principled Negotiation.

  • We look at the surprising things you’ll enjoy as you are getting closer to your dream life. You can be calm even when you’re uncertain. Learn to know that you matter and free yourself from worrying about what others think of you.